Sewing stick

I'm a walking disaster when speaking English. Starting with the famous Far Eastern "l and r" mishaps, there's thousands of side-splitting mistakes I've made. I should "think" before I "speak", but it's always the other way round. Maybe I shouldn't speak, but how could I get my own way if I didn't? (At least I'm entertaining people around me with funny mistakes. My big girl told me that I should bleach my hair so that I can have my natural hair colour...)

It seems that this kind of thing is hereditary. My mother often has similar moments of stupidity (in her mother tongue!), and now my wee one does it now and again. Here's a list of what she said and what she actually meant in brackets:

• Let's play Wimbledon! (Let's play badminton!)
• Cockshuttle (Shuttlecock)
• Lough Neagh monster (Loch Ness monster)
• I accidentally stabbed my finger with a sewing stick (I accidentally stabbed my finger with a needle.)

Talking of words, today, I asked for a scotch egg at a shop, and a man was going to grab a ham shank, instead. According to my wee one, my pronunciation was fine. So, surly it's not always the ill-connection of my brain and mouth that is to blame. Or, is the man secretly related to my family??

Good deed of the day: My wee one and I were walking home, and we saw £10 note discreetly falling out of an elderly man's wallet as he walked in front of us and put his wallet in the pocket. The money landed beside us. So, I told my girl to hand it over to him, but she was too nervous. So, I picked it up, ran over to him and handed it over to him. Phew, it was some running I did. I don't need to do any more exercise today.