How should I describe a Mr Average?

Some receipts have names of shop assistants printed at the top or the bottom, don’t they. Once my big girl picked up a piece of paper on the kitchen floor, and said, “Mum, you’ve got a love note from a man! His name and a phone number are on!.... Oh, just a receipt from the butcher’s”. (If it had been a love note, would I have left it on the kitchen floor?? I would have framed it and put it on a wall!)

My wee one was getting to know (almost) all the names and faces of the shop assistants in one shop by reading receipts. But one face that she never knew. It was *. She often asked me how he looked like. And my answer? “Well…. … … nothing particular. Just a tall man with dark hair. Probably about my age or a bit older? He looks… I don’t know. Nothing distinctive.” No offence to *, but he just does his work, and he is quiet, and he does not look like anybody but he simply looks quite average in a good meaning (apart from my weird moment of “Oh, they are Lenny and Carl out of The Simpsons” when I saw him and one of his colleagues standing side by side, even though they don’t actually look like Lenny and Carl). I just can’t describe him well enough. The more she waited, the more she became interested to see how * actually looked like. Strange obsession of an 11-year-old girl, but funny.

Anyway, we went into the shop this afternoon, and didn’t find *. But after 20 seconds, he appeared from the back of the shop! Of course I had to whisper into my wee one’s ear and told her it was him while we were served by another shop assistant.

Guess what she told me after leaving the shop?

“Yeah, he looks nothing particular, Mummy. It’s not fun anymore.”